Know your road rules? Try this test

''Learn how to drive!''

How many times have you muttered — or shouted — that phrase? More than you can count, I'd guess.

In most cases, it's not clear whether the offending driver is ignorant or selfish. But a series of national tests suggests it tends to be the former.

For the past six years, GMAC Insurance has asked a huge sampling of motorists — more than 5,000 per year — to take a written driver's test, and the scores have been dropping faster than BP's stock price.

In 2005, the failure rate (below 70 percent answered correctly) was one in ten. This year, one of every five drivers was a flunky.

Are you?

Are you sure?

The following quiz is not the generic national GMAC test. This is a test assembled specifically for you, an Ohioan, by your favorite columnist.

You're welcome.

The answers appear after the last question.

Let's play fair. And please — please! — no wagering!

1. True or false: It is illegal to drive with bare feet.

2. True or false: If an adult is sitting in the back seat of a car, he or she doesn't have to wear a seat belt.

3. True or false: When there's a single lane in each direction and you are about to pull out to pass the car in front of you, you are required to blow your horn to alert the other motorist of your impending move.

4. True or false: You pull up to a two-way stop, preparing to turn left, and wait for the cross traffic to clear. While you're waiting, another driver approaches from the other direction and stops. The other driver plans to go straight. Because you arrived at the stop sign first, you get to go first.

5. True or false: It is illegal to wear headphones while driving.

6. How many feet in advance must you turn on your blinker when changing lanes or making a turn?

7. True or false: If you're at least 16 years old, you can legally ride in the unenclosed bed of a pickup truck on a public street as long as the truck isn't going faster than 25 mph.

8. What's the farthest your tires can be from the curb after parallel parking?

9. How far behind the car in front of you is a safe following distance?

10. True or false: It is illegal to pass on the right.

ANSWERS:

(1. Nope. No such law. Not here, not anywhere. Never has been. Driving instructors generally don't recommend it, but driving barefoot is certainly safer than driving in baseball cleats or spiked heels.)

(2. True. But you'd be a buffoon not to.)

(3. True, remarkably. If you wouldn't dream of doing this, you're not alone, but Ohio law actually requires it.)

(4. Wrong! This is probably the most misunderstood law on
Ohio's books. At a two-way stop, you treat the right-of-way exactly as you'd treat it if there were no stop sign. But you'd better proceed with caution, because nobody else on the road seems to comprehend this.)

(5. True. Even if your radio is broken or your passenger is singing off-key.)

(6. 100 feet.)

(7. True. This law comes courtesy of the same state that requires seat belts for front-seat passengers.)

(8. 12 inches.)

(9. Don't think in terms of feet, because that varies with the speed. A safe following distance is a gap of three seconds.)



(10. False. If there is more than one lane in your direction, you can legally pass on the right. But you shouldn't need to unless the person in the left lane is a bozo driving 5 mph below the speed limit who doesn't know that slower traffic is required to stay in the right-hand lane.)

Miss four or more questions? We'd appreciate it if you'd park your car and call a cab.

Actually, if you'd like, we'll give you a second chance. You can find the GMAC test at http://www.gmacinsurance.com/SafeDriving.

That test is much easier than mine, and my redhill driving lessons are much harder too — which makes the national results all the more frightening.

Why is my test harder? Because, with a bow to Garrison Keillor, on Dyer Streets, all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking and all the drivers are above average.